Spiritual Headship

Why and How to read 1 Corinthians 11:2-16

Sep 26, 2024

Something that I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about in recent years as I’ve gotten married, and had a kid is my role in our family and household. Many people talk about the idea of being the spiritual head of the family, but it’s worth taking some extra time to actually figure out where this comes from, and what it means, so that you don’t just abuse scripture in a way that lets you be dictatorial in your household. Recently, I heard a great sermon from my pastor growing up, Mark Ashton, on a passage from the Bible that deals directly with this issue. What I am going to do in this article is basically a repackaging of that sermon because I have found it to be so informative and helpful. I think having these thoughts written down and made available is a beneficial thing for people, and it’s a little bit hard to find his sermon notes, so I just want to spread the love/knowledge today on Wisdom Now: Why and How.

First, let’s acknowledge that Christians simply disagree on the meaning of this text. For a number of reasons. Some words have multiple meanings. Some offhanded phrases are not well explained to a modern reader, but would have been obvious to an ancient reader. We bring our biases to the text. AND anytime you are reading an epistle – a letter – you only have one side of the conversation. It is like listening to a person talking on the phone – you can understand what they are saying, but not the other person, so you maybe get 70% of the conversation, but some stuff is unknown. The key here is humility. So as I come to this text, I might be wrong. My goal is to find the best to way interpret the text with the best resources we have and teach it to you, but I want you to know that good hearted Christians disagree… and I’ll open that up as we go. But let’s all take a learners attitude toward this text.

1 Corinthians 11:2-16

2 I praise you for remembering me in everything and for holding to the traditions just as I passed them on to you. 3 But I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God. 4 Every man who prays or prophesies with his head covered dishonors his head. 5 But every woman who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonors her head—it is the same as having her head shaved. 6 For if a woman does not cover her head, she might as well have her hair cut off; but if it is a disgrace for a woman to have her hair cut off or her head shaved, then she should cover her head. 7 A man ought not to cover his head, since he is the image and glory of God; but woman is the glory of man. 8 For man did not come from woman, but woman from man; 9 neither was man created for woman, but woman for man. 10 It is for this reason that a woman ought to have authority over her own head, because of the angels. 11 Nevertheless, in the Lord woman is not independent of man, nor is man independent of woman. 12 For as woman came from man, so also man is born of woman. But everything comes from God. 13 Judge for yourselves: Is it proper for a woman to pray to God with her head uncovered? 14 Does not the very nature of things teach you that if a man has long hair, it is a disgrace to him, 15 but that if a woman has long hair, it is her glory? For long hair is given to her as a covering. 16 If anyone wants to be contentious about this, we have no other practice—nor do the churches of God.

Maybe in a different article, I will try to tackle the idea of head coverings, but for today, I want to focus on the big question of what does it mean to be the head of something. I think the answer to this question will help provide wise insight into practical men/women issues in our day-to-day lives.

Defining Terms

Let’s dig in

3 But I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man,[a] and the head of Christ is God.

This verse defines some relationships for us:

Head of Christ = God

Head of man = Christ

Head of woman = man

Head of Church = Christ

Head of Wife = Man

Now, this is one of the most controversial verses in the whole Bible. There is a strain of Christians who teach that men are the leaders and women are the followers. That husbands are the boss and wives are the assistant. That the man is the head of his household and the king of his castle. And I want you to know that these phrases are a part of the American Christian subculture and are never used in the Bible! In the 80s, Dobson and Wayne Grudem and John Piper led a movement of hierarchal marriages and male-female relationships and the language still permeates the church. But we need to ask… what does the Bible actually SAY? And it does say in this passage that the head of woman is man. It uses the same phrase in Ephesians.

Now the big controversy around this is the meaning of the word Head (Kephale in the Greek). Head can mean Boss, Source, or Body Part. Just like in English. The head of a company is the boss, the head of a river is the source, and my head is this hairy part that sits on my shoulders.

In fact, the vast majority of time in the Greek and nearly every time the Bible uses Kephale, it means body part. As an American Christian Subculture, we are likely to read head as boss. It is what we have been taught for 40 years on Christian radio and in books etc. But I have also heard egalitarians, who don’t like the idea of male bosses, argue of the word Source because it leads to more equality of the sexes.

Trinitarian Heresy

True confession, I was always uncomfortable with the interpretations, Boss and Source. Why? Because the head of Christ is God. And I think boss and source both lead us to a trinitarian heresy. Let’s take a look at the Athanasian creed, a centuries old standard for describing the trinity

Athanasian Creed: And in this Trinity none is afore or after another; none is greater or less than another. But the whole three persons are coeternal, and coequal. So that in all things, as aforesaid, the Unity in Trinity and the Trinity in Unity is to be worshipped.

In particular, the Trinity – Father, son and Holy Spirit are coeternal and coequal. So, for the sake of argument, let’s just say that we assume Kephale means source. This would have to mean that Christ comes FROM the Father. If this is true, they are not coeternal. One comes first, so the other can’t be coeternal.

Similarly If Kephale means Boss – then that means that The Father is the Boss of Christ. If this is the case, they are not coequal.

Now wait a minute, some might say, wasn’t Jesus sent by the father? Didn’t Jesus send the Holy Spirit? Didn’t he say “I do nothing unless the father tells me to?” And yes, that is true in his temporary incarnate form. But Paul is not talking about incarnate form, he is talking about their eternal form. In their eternal form, the trinity are ONE, there is not a leader and follower relationship. There is not a first and last relationship. There is a belonging like head and body, but not a Boss-assistant relationship. So it would be heresy to consider God the Father as the Boss of God the son for all eternity.

But if Head means Body Part, then it works in the analogy. And, most importantly, it is not heresy.

So, if Kephale means Head as a body part, what does that look like? What does it mean to have a head-body relationship if it is body part? What he is talking about is-

Head and Body are about BELONGING and INTERDEPENDENCE.

If Paul is talking about oneness, belonging, and interdependence, it is perfect. In fact Jesus himself said “I and the Father are One.”

So, my head belongs to my body. As a general rule, my head and body go everywhere together. I have never had a moment where my head says – yeah… I am going to the store and my body says “I am staying home”. That would mean death for both. They belong to each other and were designed FOR one another.

Second is interdependence. If my body stops working then my head dies. If my head stops working, my body dies. We belong together and need each other.

Lets test interpretation on each head-body metaphor.

Does Christ belong to God? Are they interdependent? Does every man belong to Christ? (Hypostatic Union) Has Christ chosen interdependence with men on his mission to reach the world? Does woman belong to man? Are men and women interdependent? Does the church belong to Christ? Is she designed to be his bride and become one with him? Again, does the wife belong to the husband? Are they interdependent?

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, and yes.

So, our best understanding of Headship is about belonging together. Being interconnected in a deep and mysterious unity where the head needs the body and the body needs the head.

Men are not complete without women and women are not complete without men. It demonstrates the complimentary nature of men and women as well as their differentiation from men and women.

Summary: 6 Reasons Head = Body Part Metaphor

As a student of the Bible, there are six reasons I think interpreting Kephale as a body part and not as boss or source is the best way to understand all of this:

1) Not Heresy: Do I need to say more about that? Not heresy = good.

2) Fits Context: Do you see the interdependence in these verses. Man needs woman and vice versa.

All of chapter 12 is about the body working together.

8 For man did not come from woman, but woman from man; 9 neither was man created for woman, but woman for man… 11 Nevertheless, in the Lord woman is not independent of man, nor is man independent of woman. 12 For as woman came from man, so also man is born of woman. But everything comes from God.

3) Works all Metaphors: As I mentioned above, the idea of headship and belonging works for every metaphor Paul uses

4) One Flesh: “The two shall become one flesh”. The uniting of a man and a woman is not just a sexual union. It is actually a reunion – because the woman was made from Adam’s flesh. She is Adam’s flesh. So the sexual union moves Adam and Eve from one to two and back to one. Every couple has this beautiful connection and the husband is commanded to cleave to his wife – oneness again.

5) Divorce Teaching: God hates divorce because it is a severing of the one flesh concept. Severing a leader from his assistant is totally imaginable. But severing a head from it’s body is just deplorable.

Notice, importantly, that the Bible says the husband is the head of the wife but NOT the man is the head of his household. This makes sense, because you do not have the same oneness or cleaving with your children as your wife. You will sever from your children one day as they leave and cleave. You are not your children’s head.

6) Rare vs Common: As mentioned, it is generally good interpretation to use the most common use of a word unless there is a contextual reason not to.

How does God act as head of Christ and how do I act as head my of wife?

• God is the head of Christ by including him, promoting him, and exalting him. He includes him as the agent of creation. He puts him in the position to be the redeemer of the world, the prince of peace, the reconciler of humanity. Not small stuff. God heads Christ by exalting him to reign WITH the father. And ‘he exalted him to the highest place so that at the name of Jesus every knee will bow and every tongue confess that Jesus is lord.’ And now, he reigns WITH the father.

• Christ heads men and the church by including, promoting and exalting us. He includes us because he has chosen not to do ministry without us. We get to be his hands and feet in this world to lead, teach, pray and give a cup of cold water in his name. He allows us to grow and become by using our spiritual gifts for eternal impact. Plus, one day we too will be exalted and reign with him. Our destiny is not as disembodied angels, but as embodied co-regents with God over everything.

• Men head women and Husbands head wives by including, promoting and exalting them. So, it makes sense to raise them up as co-leaders in every context. This would include over your household, business, church or wherever you have dominion. This may be less controversial if you look at the opposite words: Exclude, demote and subjugate. Men, don’t do that – include, promote and exalt the ladies in your life – at home, at work, at school and in life.

If head and body is about belonging together, and ‘headship’ is about including, promoting and exalting, it puts an entirely new light on what some Christians have labeled the leader-follower relationship.

Now, when I was younger, the Christian teachers I heard said “You need to have someone in the family who is the tie breaker, so if the man and the woman stalemate in disagreement, we know who gets their way.” Let me say, I have been married nearly three years and we have never had to pull an “I am the leader” moment. I think many marriages decades older than ours are the same way. In fact, most healthy marriages develop realms of expertise where one person looks to the other for leadership based on expertise.

Closing Thoughts

Friends, I know this is different than what Focus on the Family taught in the 80s. Some of you have marriages that have been based on male leadership and this is making you really uncomfortable. I understand. But I’d encourage you to take a look at the scriptures and align around what they say and not just what Christian subculture has taught from a specific interpretation. So just remember:

Men and women are made for each other like a head and body.
We should imitate God and Christ in our head and body relationships.
Headship is about including, promoting, and exalting the body, not commanding or controlling it.

Ok, I’m done.

SDG

-Ryan Parmenter

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